Thursday, July 20, 2006

Hooked On It

Well Jack's truly and verily hooked. He can't get enough of it and gets very, very nervous when it's gone. It's even warped his sense of reality and rational thought. Yep, he's addicted to The Dex Line. Yesterday it fritzed out on him again by showing him at 384 (yikes). He did a fingerstick to check and that came in at 38 (ouch). Well, The Dex was only off by one digit right? heh. And then came the shocker. He refused to drink any juice.
Me: Since when do you not drink juice when you're 38??
Jack: Since I have The Dex. And it says I'm high.

I've been (and am) a staunch proponent of this CGMS, but this is a negative I did not expect. Oh boy, they did warn us, those DexCom people, and the FDA, that you shouldn't base your treatment on its data. But it's hard not to do that - after all, why the hell get it if not to use its data to modify your treatment??!

Well, this is why. You get hooked, and it deceives you when you can least resist it, in the midst of a very low hypo. I finally convinced him that his meter really is more accurate than The Dex. The performance of this last sensor has been sporatic. Its data has been very far off fingerstick values a few times, and a couple of other times it's gone dead altogether. This latter situation is never pretty because then Jack gets very nervous: I don't know whether I'm going up or down! I don't know what my BG was 5 minutes ago, or now, or 5 minutes from now! I can imagine it's a bit like being blind (pre-Dex), getting full eyesight (during-Dex), then going blind again (no-Dex).

Both he and I have become very reliant on it, even with all its quirks. I check it during the night when I happen to be awake (and he asleep). We talk about the "night-line" every morning and cheer if it stayed within limit the whole night. He proudly shows me sustained flat lines like a little kid (Do you want to see my line? Do you? Do you?). I wonder if CGMS users show each other their lines when they get together (I'll show you mine if you show me yours.).

Anger vs Patience

I can be very angry at him when he goes low, as if it were his fault. But most commonly, anger within relationships is rarely about the specifics of the events, but reflective of some deeper problems. I notice that when I'm upset, I react angrily at his lows. When I'm calm and well-fed, I can patiently get him juice and repeat many times, You need to drink some juice. Yesterday I was tired from work and cooking dinner, and it was fricken' HOT people. So when he went low, and wouldn't drink the juice, and was telling me that the fingerstick numbers meant nothing, I lost it. I would have screamed if I weren't a repressed 'girls don't raise their voices' type of girl, but instead had to contend with dramatic eye-rolling, throwing a couple of fists in the air, and grrrrrowling in frustration. I walked away and really wanted to stay away, but I couldn't, could I? I had to stay and make sure he didn't slip into a coma, damn it. Maybe it was the growling, but he drank the juice after a few minutes. Afterwards, of course, I always feel guilty about my anger.

When our relationship was going through a bad patch (totally non-diabetes-related), I would become livid with his lows. There's a huge difference between an accusatory Are you low?!! and a gently inquiring Are you low?. Luckily for the both of us, nowadays I do the latter more than the former.


At 20/7/06, Blogger Scott K. Johnson said...

Wow! That is an aspect of it that I've never thought of!

I've never considered someone trusting the CGMS rather than their good old meter - but I can totally see how it happened during a low (when our brains aren't always acting right).

I can also appreciate the trials that the swings bring a partner through.

My wife has, ever so gently, helped me to realize that when my BG is high, I get real cranky, impatient, and downright pissy.

Now that we know that, I try to take a step back if I'm feeling that way for no good reason. Check my BG, and often times it will be high.

It doesn't always help me feel better - I mean there are situations where you can't just escape and wait for it to come back down (at work, or at home with the kids, etc).

But, uncovering some of that stuff does help.

At 27/7/06, Blogger Ally said...

My husband, also a Type I, wants one of those continious meters. I think he is a bit off his rocker with the whole thing... he is the gadget type of guy. Give the poor man something with buttons and he is in LOVE. For the first few weeks after he got his pump is was "the pump can" this and "my pump" that. He talked about it more than our wedding (which happened a month after he got the pump). Boys.

Hy husband's big issue is weight. With his current treatments he is having a difficult time losing any, and has a very easy time gaining it.

Its nice to know that I am not the only one, "putting up with" a type I husband!

At 13/10/06, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been a brittle type 1 for 39 years. My question is: Why are you spending so much of your time taking care of your husbands disease? He should be making decisions all by himself. You know, whether to drink some juice, etc!!! I have been married for many years and would never expect my spouse to monitor nor control my disease for me. If I need help (very rarely) I will ask. This might be once a year. I think it would be detrimental for me to have to depend on family, friends, or my spouse to make decisions so crucial to the management of my diabetes. I'm not trying to be hypercritical to you, but maybe less time controling Jack's diabetes will bring you more peace of mind!

At 21/11/06, Blogger laurieinfl said...

I have been a brittle type 1 diabetic for 31 years, and often times my lows go so low so fast that I cannot take care of myself. If my husband hadn't handled it & gotten me juice, I could have slipped into a coma, which I have done before.

At 3/2/07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you taken the right vitamin lately? Is your body answering that question right now? Shocking truth about why this whole food vitamin has set a new standard! This can improve your quality of life.


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