Friday, April 21, 2006

My Life as a Dog

Random notes from 1-4am last night

- Got up every 1/2 hour to calm 3-year old K, who's sick & coughing.
- Got up once to nurse baby, her dark liquid eyes blinking at me.
- Woke Jack up to suggest that he check his BG (which he did (43), drank some juice, came back to bed without any fuss - woohoo!).
- Stayed awake listening to them breathe and snore.
- Had Billy Bragg's "Blake's Jerusalem" run through my head over and over
- Had "The Magic Schoolbus" theme run through my head over and over
- Thought about some movies:
* Really Disliked: "Breaking the Waves"
* Liked: "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring", "Night on Earth", "Curse of the Were-Rabbit", "My Life as a Dog"

"My Life as a Dog"

Thought it was time to take a step back after many months of rage and sadness and self-pity, and think about the dog. In the film, the young boy tries to take the positive view of his tragic-pocked life: it could always be worst. Like the dog which was sent up in the experimental rocket ship.

As much as I complain, my life is sooo not tragic or miserable. We go swimming at a local pool every now and then. About 6 months ago, I noticed another family: father, mother, twin babies. The father sat in a wheelchair calmly watching over one twin seated in a stroller; he had obvious limited physical mobility. The mother was always energetically playing in the pool with the other baby. The next week, she would have the other twin in the water with her, smiling and laughing. Well surely their family logistics is three times as difficult as mine!

Worries:
- Jack's diabetes, future complications, financial strain of paraphernalia.
- Jack being unemployed for almost 2 years, desperately wanting a job.
- Assorted worries about the kids, present and future.
- Possibility of being layed-off from the struggling ill-managed Corporation, and losing insurance coverage.
- Arguing with Jack about money & diabetes.

Good things:
- Jack is a great husband and tries-hard-father.
- Jack loving bonding with the baby because he's at home taking care of her.
- Everyone in my family is healthy.
- My boss is great.
- K is 95% potty trained!
- Crunchy crusty bread smeared with a thick layer of Plugra butter (best butter on this side of the Atlantic).
- Getting a surprise, sizable refund from the IRS for 2004, yesterday (how weird is that?!).

Regrettable things
- Our idiotic foreign policies.
- My gas-guzzling v6 midlife/mommyhood-crisis car.
- My father never knowing sweet baby.

To CGM or Not To CGM (cont.)

We continued our conversation about the continuous Glucose Monitors last evening. Jack was still hesitant, and I prodded him about other causes for his reluctance. He admitted that he didn't want another thing stuck into him in addition to his pump. He's had good success with the pump, except for the infusion sets. Sometimes they work, sometimes not. It is a pain, when his BG is very high, to guess whether it's really his BG, or whether it's simply because the infusion set's bad and he's not getting any insulin.
Although, he did recognize that getting a CGM will decrease the need for finger-sticking (which he does ~15 times/day). Anyways, I suggested he read blogs of folks who are already on the CGM's. He said he would (without much enthusiasm). To be continued...

Acknowledgement
I would like to acknowledge Amy's blog, DiabetesMine
a great source of the latest diabetes technology & advances, as well as an insightful commentary on living with diabetes. I've pulled many of my D references from her site. Thanks Amy!



3 Comments:

At 23/4/06, Blogger BetterCell said...

A....Why do you "argue with your husband about Diabetes and Money"? Your stress level will not bring a "cure" for your husband's Diabetes nor will it bring money into your lives. What it will do however, is bring more tension into your Home. As for a C.G.M., it costs over $900.00!!. Having Diabetes since the age of 6 has enabled me to factor in things that are good to have (the insulin pump) and things that are unnecessary (CGM) if one does finger sticks as often as your husband. If a unit came along that was less expensive and could be somehow implanted within the body that automatically infused the right amount of insulin to a given amount of glucose (Artifical Pancreas) then that would be more ideal.

 
At 27/4/06, Blogger Jfer said...

Hi,
I too am a spouse of a diabetic and have to go thru irrational behavior in the middle of the night to get them back to normal. I could not find anything related to spouses of diabetics either and am glad I found someone in the same boat. It is comforting to know that you are not alone (sounds cheesy I know)
Jennifer

 
At 20/2/07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

NSU - 4efer, 5210 - rulez

 

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